Snowpocolypse?

It seems like everyone in the country was warned about today's storm - La Crosse, WI was forecasted to get up to 18 inches of snowfall and have blizzardy (is that a word?) conditions.  Residents were encouraged to stock up on food, water, batteries, etc., and to stay indoors for the length of the storm.  What!?  I'll admit, I felt a twinge of child-like excitement.  Snowpocolypse was coming...and just in time for the predicted end of the world tomorrow!

So...why was I excited for the storm of the century?  I attribute that feeling to a book I read in elementary school: My Side of the Mountain (by Jean Craighead George).  It was about a boy who runs away from home and has to learn to survive in the wild.  I have read that book so many times that I'm sure I could survive through anything.  Plus, I've seen "Survivorman," so I'm basically a extreme survival expert...right? 

I don't read books too often these days, and with the new baby, my DVR is set to record my favorite shows so I have something to watch when I am up with her in the middle of the night.  One show in particular that I like is "Doomsday Preppers."  Those people are nuts.  There, I said it, and it's the truth!  BUT, I can see the validity in having some supplies stored up.

In August 2007, La Crosse had a HUGE storm in the summer, to the tune of 7-12 inches of rain.  Just think if that would have been snow.  I wonder how many feet of snow that would have been?  Roofs wouldn't have been able to support the weight of the snow, and if the building you were in was still intact, you would have been trapped inside.  Even if you tried to shovel your way out, there wouldn't be anywhere to put the snow.  I figured the storm we were getting today would be something like that. 

Finally, my survival skills would come in handy!  Throughout the day yesterday, I caught myself thinking about prepping ideas that would help my family survive in this terrible storm.  I could buy some bottled water.  I could round up all of the candles, matches, and flashlights.  I could put extra clothes and blankets in the minivan.  I could get shelf-stable food ready to eat.  Above all else, the Trailer family would survive!

What I actually did yesterday (beyond taking care of my 2-yr old and my 2-mo old) was take a nap.  I think I might have also washed a sinkful of dishes and finished a load of laundry.  I didn't even take a shower until 4:30pm when I decided that I better start getting ready for Wednesday night church.  It was a darn good thing we only got 5-6 inches of snow.

Looking back, the best thing I could have prepped for was buying a pair of snow boots.  I don't remember the last time I wore boots.  I'm not a "boot" person.  Nothing fits right and nothing looks good.  I'm my own worst critic.  I got desperate today and took Mia and Maddie out to Farm & Barn and I finally bought some boots.  The next thing I need is a hat and gloves, and maybe a scarf.  I'll put that on my five-year plan.  Wow, my mind is all over the place tonight.  Anyway, I got the boots, but it took around 45 minutes to get myself and the girls ready to leave the house, and by the time I was done shopping (and we picked up Titus from daycare), my pant legs were soaked, my hair was a holy nightmare, I almost lost the girls in a runaway cart in the store parking lot (thanks a lot, 50-mph wind!), and my patience was gone.

It's late in the evening now, and I've had time to calm down after my outing, so I'll leave you with this picture of my Aunt Annie that my mom took in 1972.  This picture has been ingrained in my mind since the first time I saw it.  It's what I imagine the most wonderful snowfall to be.  Peaceful, relaxed, big lazy flakes...and a giant birdhouse.  :)





Parenting Revelations - Part 1

Without fail, whenever I have something to eat and the kids are around, I find myself sharing with them.  My husband and I call them our "baby birds."  I'll explain.  As soon as they spot the food we have, they stop what they're doing and rush over, eyes locked on the prize.  Rarely do they verbalize when they want us to share.  Instead, they stand patiently in front of us with their mouths wide open and their hands at their sides.  They expect us to spoon the food in their mouths.  If we're not doing it fast enough, they'll say "bite, bite," which to us sounds just like "cheep, cheep!"

It's not like we don't feed the kids or that they don't eat.  They get at least three squares a day plus copious amounts of snacks.  I used to get semi-annoyed that I couldn't have anything to eat all by myself without the baby birds demanding to be fed.  Then it hit me.  One day, the kids will be grown up and I'll be eating my meals and snacks by myself, without any gaping-mouthed baby birds standing in front of me.  That realization opened up a whole can of emotions.  One day, I'm not going to get woken in the early morning hours by the kids wanting to crawl into bed with us.  One day, the kids won't want me to read books to them, make up bedtime stories, or have me sing them to sleep.  One day, the kids won't ask me to carry or hold them.  One day, the kids won't think it's fun to have me chase them around the house when we play "Bun Squisher". 

But as for today, I'm soaking up all I can so I don't miss a thing!

Last Night's Supper

Sometimes I like to have no plan for supper and see what I can make from whatever I have on hand.  Last night's supper was a "no plan" night.

Tim was working the evening shift, so I was home alone with the kids.  Those kind of nights have been interesting - me, who is 29 weeks pregnant and STILL struggling with "morning" sickness, a 3 1/2 year old and a 21 month old - I should video me trying to do anything in the kitchen with two kiddos on my heels, hanging on my legs, and crying to be held because they haven't seen me all day (yes, I'm one of those mothers who works full-time...don't judge me!). 

A quick inspection of the fridge revealed there were several things I needed to use ASAP before they went bad.  No sense in throwing good food away!  

• 1 1/2 c. shredded chicken (made a week earlier in the crock pot with onions and seasoned with salt, pepper, and garlic powder - yum - what an easy way to make chicken that falls apart)
• 1 c. diced green peppers from a previous pizza-making night
• 1/2 c. sliced mushrooms (I actually decided against using these because I'm not sure how long mushrooms are supposed to last.  So, the garbage disposal got them.)
• 1 lb. of gnarly looking carrots that Titus got from the farmer's market
• 1/2 a bag of frozen peas (who knows how long we've had these - they didn't smell like the freezer, so I used them!)
• Sour cream expiring at the end of the month

I also had some pantry items.  This is what I did to make the meal:

• Peeled, washed, and diced 6 medium potatoes, then put them in a pot of water to boil.
• Melted a 1/2 stick of butter in a small stock pot.
• While the butter was melting, I peeled, washed, and chopped the carrots, then added them to the pot of butter to saute and soften.
• I got tired of waiting for the potato water to boil, so after a few minutes, I drained them and added them to the carrots, including a little water from the pot.  I didn't want them to cook fully, just didn't want them to be crunchy.
• After about 10 minutes of cooking the carrots and potatoes, I added the green pepper.  I thought I would sneak them in - I'm the only one in the house that likes them.
• I tasted the potatoes and carrots and liked where they were at, but I needed to add salt and pepper.  Keep tasting your food as you're cooking it so you know how much seasoning to add.
• Added flour to the veggies and stirred until they were coated.  This was the start of the sauce.  I had a can of cream of chicken soup begging to be opened, but making your own sauce is soooo much better than the sodium-filled cans of goo.  I had to stir this for a minute to make sure I cooked out as much of the flour taste as possible.
• Added milk and stirred, adding more milk until I got a good, creamy sauce.  Looking back, I should have added more milk and made it creamier, because the end product was a tad on the dry side.
• Next I added the shredded chicken and frozen peas, then stirred until everything was combined.

At this point, the contents of the pot looked like chicken pot pie filling - good enough to eat straight from the pot.  Another addition of salt and pepper and the mixture went into the casserole dish.  It just needed a topping.  I only had a small box of Jiffy Cornbread mix, but I wasn't in the mood for that.  I also had a box of pancake mix - perfect!  Time to experiment.  Keep in mind that nothing was measured, except the butter.

• 1 1/2 c. pancake mix (I actually didn't measure - maybe it was closer to 2 cups?)
• 1/2 stick butter, melted
• 2 T. water
• 8 oz. sour cream
• 1/4 c. grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 t. garlic powder
• 1 t. dried parsley flakes
• 1/2 t. paprika
• salt & pepper to taste

I was going for a Cheddar Bay Biscuit taste, but didn't have Cheddar cheese, and didn't have a recipe for those.  After combining all of the biscuit ingredients, I scooped small spoonfuls all over the top of the chicken mixture.  Into the 350 degree oven it went.  I wanted to make sure the casserole was heated through, and that the biscuits would be cooked all the way.  I have no idea how long this was in the oven...maybe 25 minutes?  By this time, Tim was home and he was checking the progress.  When the biscuit top was golden brown, he removed the dish from the oven and let it stand for about 15 minutes to make sure the inside of the biscuits could finish being wonderful.

I've totally skipped over the part about feeding the kids.  The casserole wasn't taken out of the oven until at least 7:30, and there's no way the kids were going to wait that long for supper.  When Titus saw the pancake mix, he stopped what he was doing and announced that he was ready for his supper.  He even sat at his place at the table and waited.  I quickly whipped up a batch of large silver dollar pancakes for him.  He even helped me stir!  The first three included sliced bananas, topped with low-sugar syrup.  He was still hungry, so I made a second batch of three large silver dollar pancakes that included chocolate chips.  A little white milk to wash it all down and he was one happy boy!  Mia didn't want the small pancakes and asked for one big one with chocolate chips.  She also requested chocolate milk to drink.  There's no question in our minds that she's daddy's girl.  :)  

Here's what the casserole looked like (this is a picture of it re-heated for lunch today - notice the flower patterned paper bowl - so fancy!).  This is definitely a supper I will make again, but I'm almost certain it won't come out the same.  Next time, the filling will be creamier.  The biscuits soaked up a lot of liquid, which made it dry.  That's the fun about cooking - you can create whatever you want and not have to follow a recipe.

Let's switch topics to this morning's breakfast.  Tim worked the early shift and I'm on the evening shift, so I was home with the kids this morning.  I didn't want to give them the same breakfast options as always (eggs & toast, pancakes (we just had those last night), frozen waffles, oatmeal, cereal), so I dug through the cupboards looking for ideas.  I didn't have a lot of time to make anything.  I found a pouch of Betty Crocker muffin mix that you just add water to.  In about 2 minutes, I had them mixed, poured, and in the oven.  In 16-21 minutes, we would have hot muffins for breakfast.  I took a quick shower, got dressed, got Mia dressed (Titus picks out his own clothes and dresses himself), and then took out the muffins so they could cool.  We had to be in the van and on the road in 10 minutes. 

When everyone was in the van and ready to go, we finally tried the muffins.  Much to my dismay, when I peeled the muffin liner away, half the muffin came with it.  We basically ate muffin tops for breakfast.  They were delicious, but a disappointment.

This never happens when I make muffins from scratch.  Come to think of it, I have enough bananas in the freezer to make a triple batch of banana muffins.  I guess I know what I'm doing this weekend!  Those are the perfect things to make in a huge batch, then freeze in packages of six.  We take a bag out when needed and they thaw in less than 30 minutes.

I should blog about a disasterous cooking attempt, but I'll save that for another day.  :)   

Not So Great Clips

This weekend I got what could possibly qualify as the worst haircut of my entire adult life.  I have to specify "adult" life because my mom gave me some pretty homely looking haircuts when I was a kid.  I asked her to email me a picture so I could include it, but darn it, she didn't have time.  :)

I was sitting at home on Sunday afternoon just relaxing.  Tim and the kids were napping and I had just planned our menu for our upcoming week vacation and was also getting ready for our church's worship and prayer service that evening - I was on the docket to lead prayer for a few minutes.  We needed to be at church by 6:30pm.  At 3:15, I was just about to head out to get my hair cut when Titus woke up from his nap.  He was in such a good mood and asked if he could come with me.  It was a date with my favorite little boy!  Off we went to find a place to cut my hair.

I had always had sufficient luck at the Great Clips store in south La Crosse.  I have a very specific cut that I like, and I get upset if it's not done correctly.  The funny thing is, I know I'm one of those customers that are demanding, but cheap!  I don't want to pay more than $15 for a haircut.  The style that I get takes about 10 - 15 minutes to cut, and the person isn't reinventing the wheel - they're just cutting my outgrown hair a little shorter.  Titus and I walked into the store.  The girl behind the counter asked if I had ever been there before.  I said I had frequented the La Crosse location, and she informed me that the stores were not "linked."  I should have turned around and walked out right then!  But I didn't.  I thought, the two stylists that are working look clean and their hair is done nicely...I should be okay.  After waiting for about 10 minutes, a third person came from the back of the store.  She walked up to the computer and called my name.  She looked frumpy and her hair wasn't done.  Why did I continue to stay???

Titus sat in the toy corner and played while I got my hair hacked, I mean cut.  First of all, the lady had really ferocious dragon breath, like she had just eaten a whole ring of spicy pepperoni.  I immediately told her that I was pregnant and not feeling good, so she didn't have to feel like she needed to keep conversation with me.  I think I offended her, but I was also gagging at the smell.  GROSS!  I popped one of my sugar-free candies in my mouth and hoped for the best.  I explained how I wanted my hair cut.  Again, this wasn't rocket science.  My layers had grown out, but you could still see the idea of what I was asking for.  She quickly understood what I wanted and started snipping away.

I have to say, she was good at not talking to me, but the horrendous halitosis was there anyway, seemingly seeping out from her inner being.  I can't stress enough how bad it was.  Anywayyyy, when she was done about 10 minutes later, she asked me to look and see what I thought.  I immediately noticed that it was about an inch shorter than I wanted and the right side was drastically longer than the left.  When I brought the uneven sides to her attention, she mumbled something about my dark (brown) hair against her black clothes made it hard to see.  That made no sense, but I passed on questioning her.  I was still in an okay mood.  She finished the cut and we went to the counter to check out.

When Titus and I got to the car, I was horrified when I saw my reflection in the window.  From what I could see, my head was now sporting two different hair styles!  The left side was short and had a few choppy layers, and the right side was STILL longer and had one sort-of layer.  None of the cuts were done nicely, like she had taken the scissors with one hand and hacked away.  No blending, just chopping and hacking.  HACKING!!  Then I looked at my neck - she didn't even take the time to wipe the hair off.  Great.  Now I was the star of the Itchy and Scratchy Show! 

Titus saw that I was upset and he asked if I was mad at him, Daddy, or Mia.  I assured him that I was only upset at the hair cutting lady because sometimes mommy just wants to look pretty and the lady made me look not pretty.  How do you explain it nicely to a three-year old?  He was well-behaved while I got my hack, so I took him to Walmart for a treat and to buy hair dye.  I just knew everyone was looking at my hideous hair, but nevertheless, one box of Garnier Nutrisse, a tube of mini M&Ms, and a box of goldfish crackers later, we were finally headed home. 

On the ride home, I tried calling Tim three times.  I found out later that his phone was dead.  Argh!  Didn't he know I needed him at that moment?!?  I was too mad to go back to the store - I knew they wouldn't care what happened and I KNEW they would bring out the men's clippers as the only fix for my ruined hair.  I raced home and got Tidy in the house with his treats (the goldfish crackers were the treat he picked out for Mia - awwww...he loves her!).  As soon as Tim saw me, he gasped, "how does that person have a job cutting hair?!"  He told me to call someone that knew how to cut hair and see if they could fix it.  I didn't want to bother anyone - I was pretty volitle and seeing red, but I had the solution!

I locked myself in the bathroom with Tim's hair clipper set.  Relax, I only needed the scissors and comb.  :)  It was already after 5pm, and we needed to be leaving the house at 6pm.  I channeled any and all (good) hair cutting techniques I have ever seen and went to work.  The first hair to go was the longer right side.  Hmmm...that didn't turn out too bad.  I decided I must be an expert stylist and should keep going.  I was combing and pulling and snipping until my arms were numb and the bathroom was covered in hair.  I would worry about cleaning up later!  After the re-style, I pinned up sections of my hair that I didn't want colored, ripped into the box of dye, threw things together, and slapped on the goo like I was in a race.  Well I was, with the clock.  I let the color sit for about 20 minutes before I jumped in the shower for a rinse.  I threw my clothes on, dried my hair and styled it.

When I came out of the bathroom, Tim couldn't believe I had cleaned up the hack job so well.  I told him I might as well cut my own hair from now on.  After all, I have seen people cutting hair on TV.  If they can do it, so can I!  The only part I wish I would have taken more time on is letting the color work longer.  I used "black/blue", but it's not nearly as black as I wanted it.

Overall, I'm still pretty upset about the whole experience, but I turned that sour, half-rotten lemon into a nice tall glass of sweet lemonade!

The Good Old Days...Movie Weekends with the Family

My parents divorced when I was seven years old.  My brother, Nate, and I would rotate weekends with each parent.  Although the divorce was difficult for everyone, my parents would try to make it special for us.  One of our favorite weekend activities was to rent movies. 

Mom would drive my brother and I in her Chrysler Horizon to the video store to rent a VCP (video cassette player) and a couple movies.  Nate and I always wanted the same kids movies, usually including something starring Pee Wee Herman.  Mom would let us get our movies, and then she would pick a couple of her own.  She never said "no" to us renting the same movies each time.  I remember rolling my eyes and making fun of the "Mom" movies that she selected.  They were so grown up and boring!  In fact, I still call movies that I think are boring "Mom" movies!  Nate and I got to watch our movies first, then Mom would watch her movies afterwards, sometimes late into the night.  Looking back, I think it was nice of her to let us have our fun first, and wait for hers. 

Weekends with Dad were just as fun.  Nate and I would get to stay at his efficiency apartment in La Crosse.  Our favorite movies included anything with Jim Varney (Ernest P. Worrell - "Know what I mean, Vern?").  Dad always had a bucket of vanilla ice cream (his favorite) in the freezer and a 2-liter of off-brand cola in the fridge.  We would scoop ice cream in a big bowl and pour in the cola.  Then we'd get the old hand-crank mixer out and start working on making our version of floats.  Now that I think about it, cola floats don't sound very good, but they were the best back then.  We would watch our movies and then rehash them, saying the funniest quotes we could remember. 

Movie weekends were inexpensive, but it was quality time spent with my parents.  Tim and I like to watch movies with our kids and make it special by having treats and picnics on the living room floor.  It's the little things that can make a lasting impression.

A Yummy Hobby!

I have always loved to cook and bake, but it wasn't until my son's first birthday when I stumbled upon my favorite hobby...cake decorating.  Now, I'm not claiming to be a great decorator, but I found something I love to do, so I'm doing it! 

Below are pictures of each birthday cake I've made for my kiddos.  Tim and I strive to make the kids feel extra special on their birthdays, and making them a one-of-a-kind cake is my part.  



This is Titus' 1st birthday cake.  The layers were chocolate and funfetti.  The bottom layer was a 10x2" round cake, the middle layer was an 8x2" round cake, and the top layer was a 6x2" round cake.  Each layer was cut and filled with frosting, then covered with a crumb coat.  This was also my first attempt at making marshmallow fondant (MMF).  What a mess, and honestly, it wasn't very tasty.  I colored each batch of fondant, rolled it and fit it over the layers.  After supporting the layers and stacking the cakes, I embellished it with cutout fondant stars, then rolled fondant into balls and placed it around each layer.  I was SO proud of my first cake.  Titus was only 1 year old, but I just knew it was the best cake he'd ever seen.  :)



By the time Titus was 2 years old, he was heavily into Veggie Tales.  I mean, so much that we couldn't go a couple hours without watching his favorite video..."Dave and the Giant Pickle".  The infatuation with the Giant Pickle was so great that we knew it would make his perfect 2nd birthday cake.  I had just had my second baby a month and a half before Titus' birthday, and I wasn't in the mood to make a big tiered cake.  Cupcakes were the answer!  The cupcake flavors were chocolate and funfetti (I don't even like funfetti - not sure why I was using it so much!), then frosted with white canned frosting that I colored.  Even though I forgot to put a mouth on the Giant Pickle, I thought he turned out pretty good.  He's got his boxing shorts on and his boxing gloves are up and ready to fight!  Jr. Asparagas is in the corner as Dave.  What a cutie!  This was a pain to transport (as you can see, my boards came apart and shifted the cupcakes) during our Wisconsin winter, but it sure was easy to serve and clean up!

A closer look at Dave.  CUTE!  I could just eat him up...literally.

This isn't a cake, but I had to include it.  My husband, Tim, made this pinata for the "Dave and the Giant Pickle" themed party.  He rolled a tube of tagboard for the body, then had balloons at the top and bottom to round things out.  He glued crepe paper over the entire figure, then used a black marker to add eyes and a mouth.  Since Veggie Tales characters don't have limbs, the boxing gloves had to be added directly to the Giant Pickle's body.  We didn't use this as a pinata, and actually, it didn't even have candy inside.  We set the Giant Pickle on a chair and gave the kids bean bags to throw at him.  They were trying to defeat the giant by knocking him over.  Then we gave each kid a goodie bag filled with treats.  What fun!

This is Princess Mia's first birthday cake.  It took me 7 hours from the start of baking the cakes to the last drop of decorating.  Unfortunately, those 7 hours were from 7pm - 2am on a Saturday night, and I had church the next morning!  I couldn't let my baby girl down, though.  :)  This was my first attempt at a "topsy-turvy" cake.  You cut the layers in such a way that it gives the illusion that it's going to fall over.  I reall really liked making this cake...and I didn't use funfetti this year!  lol  The layers were as follows:  bottom = two 10x2" round cakes stacked with buttercream between the layers;  middle = two 8x2" rounds layered with buttercream; top = two 6x2" rounds layered with buttercream.   I cut the layers diagonally so it would slope, and for the middle layer, I used what I cut off, flipped it around, and made a more dramatic edge.  I won't go into too much detail about the assembly...maybe on another blog.  I added the crumb coat to the cakes and let it dry.  Then I colored the buttercream and frosted the cakes.  These pictures were done in yellowy lighting - so disappointing.  The bottom and top layers were purple, and the middle layer was pink.  I used the leftover white buttercream to add decorations to the layers.  At this point, it was 1:30am and I was tired.  I used too small of a piping tip on the bottom layer, and decided to go back over it with something bigger.
 

Another look at the princess topsy-turvy cake.

Looking down on the cake.  I used a crown cookie cutter as my guide for the frosting crown.  I piped Mia's name underneath.  Afterall, she IS the princess!  Oh, and the cake tasted so goooooood!!

This is Titus' 3rd birthday cake.  He wanted a football cake, then later wanted a baseball cake including a basketball.  Such demands for a soon-to-be 3-year old!  And being the best mommy in the world, I wanted to meet those demands.  The football was the most important, so I made that the biggest.  To give you an idea of size, the football was made from a 8x11" cake pan, then trimmed.  The ends were made from a 6x2" round cake and trimmed.  The football was a stacked cake and had homemade buttercream filling.  The basketball was made from two 8x2" round cakes, stacked and layered with buttercream.  The baseball was a giant rice cereal treat, maybe a little bigger than a softball.  I whipped up a small batch of MMF to cover it, then colored some buttercream red and piped the stiching.  Tim made the lines for the basketball and football.  I was using a foam project board as the base, which got quite marked up with colored frosting, so it was quickly covered with green frosting "grass".  Titus loved this cake.  The first thing he did after we sang Happy Birthday was grab the baseball and tear into it.  :)

I'm not sure what I'll do for this year's birthdays.  Baby #3 is due just four days from Mia's 2nd birthday, then Titus' 4th birthday is a month and a half later.  Ugh.  What have I gotten myself into?!  Whatever the creation may be, it's going to be unique, made with love from my kiddos' favorite mommy.

I Definitely Like Country Music...I Think

My family and I watched what my household referes to as the "Singin' Show" (American Idol) last night.  With our DVR, we're able to watch the hour-long episode in about 30 minutes, commercial-free.  Hallelujah!  The kids usually don't let us watch the entire show, so we listen to the comments and voting results, then skip through the rest.  We rarely watch the live celebrity performances, but last night was different.  His name was Scotty McCreery.

I watched American Idol last season during Scotty's run, and I didn't think he would win.  Despite his talent and cutesy "All-American Boy" demeanor, I wasn't a fan.  We kept the show on during his performance because I was interested in knowing what the last year had done for the guy.  He sang "Water Tower Town," a song I had never heard before.  I had my DVR-skipping thumb ready to press the button, but something strange happened.  I never pressed it.  While listening to the words of the song, I was filled with good memories from my high school days, when life seemed simpler. 

Friday night football is king

Sweet tea goes good with anything

The fireflies come out when the sun goes down.

Nobody eats 'til you say amen

And everybody knows your mom and them

You can see who loves who for miles around

In a water tower town

Doesn't that just sound nice?  Don't get me wrong, I'm still a super fan of pop-punk (Relient K!!), but sometimes a little country music is just what you need to remember to slow down and enjoy life. 

Trailer...out!

"Fine Dining" at its Worst

My husband, Tim, and I are taking the kids to a waterpark hotel at the end of the month.  While trying to decide where to take a 3-year old and a 1 1/2-year old on this brave journey, I recounted a trip to Wisconsin Dells from September 2010. 

I was 8 months pregnant with our second child and we were attending a wedding at Devil's Lake.  We researched hotels in the area that had indoor waterparks for toddlers.  The Atlantis won us over with their reasonable prices and great pictures.  What a mistake.  The hotel was clean enough, but I felt uneasy there, like we were going to get mugged.  After unpacking our things in the room, we took our almost 2-year old to the waterpark.  It was Saturday night and we were the ONLY guests in the pool area.  It was like a ghost town.  They advertised a snack bar (I was pregnant and starving! lol), but there wasn't one to be found.  I sat on the sidelines, snackless, while Tim played with our son in the water.  That lasted for about 15 minutes before Titus was bored.  Maybe going out for dinner would help liven things up. 

After driving around for what seemed like an eternity, we settled on the Colossal Buffet.  I remember eating at that restaurant when I chaperoned a youth trip one year, and they served good food in a fun atmosphere.  I learned later that was before the ownership changed hands.

You'd think three cars in the parking lot on a Saturday night would have tipped us off on what was to come.  Or their giant-sized advertised price of a $9.95 buffet.  Or the run-down building with weeds growing up from the parking lot cracks.  Nope.  We had found a good deal and were going with it no matter what.  We walked in, paid, and found a semi-clean table.  We should have turned back after walking past the buffet, but we just kept going like moths to a flame.  The highlights of the buffet line were canned baked beans, grayish hotdogs floating in a water bath with stale buns, canned corn, and mashed potatoes.  Those were the items we could recognize.  The drink selection included a soda dispenser or "juice."  The cup sizes were 6 ounces.  Yes, 6 whole ounces in a child-size cup!  I chose the juice, but called it quits when I discovered it was Kool-Aid.  The dessert table had those wafer cookies in chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla (it IS a buffet, after all), and little 4 ounce cups of Jell-O.  We fixed a plate of the safest looking food for Titus, but were having trouble wanting anything for ourselves.  Then the most horrible food experience happened...

The "chef" came out from the back carrying a dozen breadsticks IN HIS HANDS!  He put them on the buffet line and stopped to talk to a co-worker.  As he talked, we took note of his attire.  The restaurant must not have had an air conditioner in the kitchen, because the man wore a sleeveless shirt and was quite sweaty.  After depositing the breadsticks with the other food, he wiped his face off with his bare hands and put them to rest in his armpits!  After we picked our jaws off the floor and snatched the food right out of our child's mouth, we hightailed it out of there.  As we were leaving, having to cut through the employees smoking on the front steps, we noticed an innocent family pulling into the parking lot.  We were so traumatized that we ran up to their car and begged them not to enter.  Oh, for the love of God, don't eat here!  The people were wise and heeded our warning.  We ended up eating at Culver's that night, in the car, and it was most delicious.

I just Googled "Colossal Buffet" in Wisconsin Dells and learned that the place is closed.  Good riddance!  I don't know how long they were in business, but it was too long.