This weekend I got what could possibly qualify as the worst haircut of my entire adult life. I have to specify "adult" life because my mom gave me some pretty homely looking haircuts when I was a kid. I asked her to email me a picture so I could include it, but darn it, she didn't have time. :)
I was sitting at home on Sunday afternoon just relaxing. Tim and the kids were napping and I had just planned our menu for our upcoming week vacation and was also getting ready for our church's worship and prayer service that evening - I was on the docket to lead prayer for a few minutes. We needed to be at church by 6:30pm. At 3:15, I was just about to head out to get my hair cut when Titus woke up from his nap. He was in such a good mood and asked if he could come with me. It was a date with my favorite little boy! Off we went to find a place to cut my hair.
I had always had sufficient luck at the Great Clips store in south La Crosse. I have a very specific cut that I like, and I get upset if it's not done correctly. The funny thing is, I know I'm one of those customers that are demanding, but cheap! I don't want to pay more than $15 for a haircut. The style that I get takes about 10 - 15 minutes to cut, and the person isn't reinventing the wheel - they're just cutting my outgrown hair a little shorter. Titus and I walked into the store. The girl behind the counter asked if I had ever been there before. I said I had frequented the La Crosse location, and she informed me that the stores were not "linked." I should have turned around and walked out right then! But I didn't. I thought, the two stylists that are working look clean and their hair is done nicely...I should be okay. After waiting for about 10 minutes, a third person came from the back of the store. She walked up to the computer and called my name. She looked frumpy and her hair wasn't done. Why did I continue to stay???
Titus sat in the toy corner and played while I got my hair hacked, I mean cut. First of all, the lady had really ferocious dragon breath, like she had just eaten a whole ring of spicy pepperoni. I immediately told her that I was pregnant and not feeling good, so she didn't have to feel like she needed to keep conversation with me. I think I offended her, but I was also gagging at the smell. GROSS! I popped one of my sugar-free candies in my mouth and hoped for the best. I explained how I wanted my hair cut. Again, this wasn't rocket science. My layers had grown out, but you could still see the idea of what I was asking for. She quickly understood what I wanted and started snipping away.
I have to say, she was good at not talking to me, but the horrendous halitosis was there anyway, seemingly seeping out from her inner being. I can't stress enough how bad it was. Anywayyyy, when she was done about 10 minutes later, she asked me to look and see what I thought. I immediately noticed that it was about an inch shorter than I wanted and the right side was drastically longer than the left. When I brought the uneven sides to her attention, she mumbled something about my dark (brown) hair against her black clothes made it hard to see. That made no sense, but I passed on questioning her. I was still in an okay mood. She finished the cut and we went to the counter to check out.
When Titus and I got to the car, I was horrified when I saw my reflection in the window. From what I could see, my head was now sporting two different hair styles! The left side was short and had a few choppy layers, and the right side was STILL longer and had one sort-of layer. None of the cuts were done nicely, like she had taken the scissors with one hand and hacked away. No blending, just chopping and hacking. HACKING!! Then I looked at my neck - she didn't even take the time to wipe the hair off. Great. Now I was the star of the Itchy and Scratchy Show!
Titus saw that I was upset and he asked if I was mad at him, Daddy, or Mia. I assured him that I was only upset at the hair cutting lady because sometimes mommy just wants to look pretty and the lady made me look not pretty. How do you explain it nicely to a three-year old? He was well-behaved while I got my hack, so I took him to Walmart for a treat and to buy hair dye. I just knew everyone was looking at my hideous hair, but nevertheless, one box of Garnier Nutrisse, a tube of mini M&Ms, and a box of goldfish crackers later, we were finally headed home.
On the ride home, I tried calling Tim three times. I found out later that his phone was dead. Argh! Didn't he know I needed him at that moment?!? I was too mad to go back to the store - I knew they wouldn't care what happened and I KNEW they would bring out the men's clippers as the only fix for my ruined hair. I raced home and got Tidy in the house with his treats (the goldfish crackers were the treat he picked out for Mia - awwww...he loves her!). As soon as Tim saw me, he gasped, "how does that person have a job cutting hair?!" He told me to call someone that knew how to cut hair and see if they could fix it. I didn't want to bother anyone - I was pretty volitle and seeing red, but I had the solution!
I locked myself in the bathroom with Tim's hair clipper set. Relax, I only needed the scissors and comb. :) It was already after 5pm, and we needed to be leaving the house at 6pm. I channeled any and all (good) hair cutting techniques I have ever seen and went to work. The first hair to go was the longer right side. Hmmm...that didn't turn out too bad. I decided I must be an expert stylist and should keep going. I was combing and pulling and snipping until my arms were numb and the bathroom was covered in hair. I would worry about cleaning up later! After the re-style, I pinned up sections of my hair that I didn't want colored, ripped into the box of dye, threw things together, and slapped on the goo like I was in a race. Well I was, with the clock. I let the color sit for about 20 minutes before I jumped in the shower for a rinse. I threw my clothes on, dried my hair and styled it.
When I came out of the bathroom, Tim couldn't believe I had cleaned up the hack job so well. I told him I might as well cut my own hair from now on. After all, I have seen people cutting hair on TV. If they can do it, so can I! The only part I wish I would have taken more time on is letting the color work longer. I used "black/blue", but it's not nearly as black as I wanted it.
Overall, I'm still pretty upset about the whole experience, but I turned that sour, half-rotten lemon into a nice tall glass of sweet lemonade!
